


it will always be you

by rocketshiptospace



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-04 00:22:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1760605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocketshiptospace/pseuds/rocketshiptospace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Come on, let's have a cuddle." Ashton says and Luke thinks the last thing he needs right now is the source of his problems to be as close as possible to him, but he can't say no, can never say no to Ashton.</p><p>They squeeze into Ashton's bunk, Ashton with his back to Luke, Luke's arms protectively curled around the older boy. It's a tight fit, but it just means they're even more pressed up to each other and Luke secretely loves Ashton all cuddled up to him like this.</p><p>"Is nice, this."  Ashton mumbles and Luke doesn't respond, just buries his nose in Ashton's hair and takes in his scent.</p><p>or, the one where you get a short vision of your soulmate on your eighteenth birthday and ashton and luke are idiots a lot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it will always be you

**Author's Note:**

> one of these days i'm going to stop writing soumate fic, but today is apparently not one of those days. 
> 
> based on this post: http://lukesamericanapparel.tumblr.com/post/86226894557/sometimes-i-like-to-think-about-what-it-would-be

No one know where it comes from, or why it happens, but almost everyone receives it on their eighteenth birthday: a short vision of what their soul mate is currently doing at that exact moment.

Most of the time these moments are short, just a quick look into the life of the person you are meant to be with forever, but there have been people who claimed their 'soulmate flash' as people refer to it, lasted for more than an hour.

Some people find out they've known their soulmate all along, some take years after that looking for them, sometimes someone's soulmate is already spoken for and some never receive their soulmate flashes at all. Luke's secretly hoping he's one of the latter.

Because honestly, Luke thinks it's a bit weird, these soulmate flashes. How can a short vision on your eighteenth birthday decide who you are going to be with for the rest of your life? Luke would much rather decide for himself who he's going to spend the rest of his life with, thank you very much.

But that doesn't take away the fact that he has seen the soulmate flashes work time and time again. He has seen people fall in love enough times to know the flashes work.

He still wishes he could choose, though.

Because if he could choose, he would stride over to Ashton right now, grab the front of his stupid ripped shirt and kiss him square on the mouth.

But he can't because Ashton's already had his soulmate flash and when they asked about it he shrugged it off with a 'never met them, sorry' and refused to speak about it again.

So, like, not going to happen.

He's watching Ashton now, as the older boy is absentmindedly drumming his fingers on the table. They're on the tour bus and it's been such a long ride already and they're still on there and it's driving them up the wall.

Calum and Michael are in the middle of an intense game of fifa and Calum is kicking Michael's ass. They've also already had their soulmate flashes, neither of them having met the person before. It seems to be a recurring theme in the band.

Luke wonders if he already knows his soulmate. His birthday is only a few days away and it's slightly scaring him. He doesn't know if he's ready to commit to someone else yet. He's also not sure if he's ready to let go of Ashton yet.

"You all right?" The boy currently occupying Luke's mind asks.

Luke nods and shifts his eyes away from where they were focused on Ashton's biceps. "Yeah. Tired." He mumbles.

Suddenly there's a hand on his arm and someone's pulling him up and dragging him into the direction of the bunk beds. "Come on, let's have a cuddle." Ashton says and Luke thinks the last thing he needs right now is the source of his problems to be as close as possible to him, but he can't say no, can never say no to Ashton.

They squeeze into Ashton's bunk, Ashton with his back to Luke, Luke's arms protectively curled around the older boy. It's a tight fit, but it just means they're even more pressed up to each other and Luke secretely loves Ashton all cuddled up to him like this.

"Is nice, this."  Ashton mumbles and Luke doesn't respond, just buries his nose in Ashton's hair and takes in his scent.

Yeah, this is really nice.

 

\---

 

This is it. This is the day. Luke's eighteenth birthday.

It starts off with the boys loudly singing happy birthday and pulling him out of his bunk to present him with his birthday breakfast (pancakes with a few hastily placed candles in them) and give him presents.

Then he calls his family and responds to a few messages on twitter. They don't really have much to do today, just a few practices and then dinner tonight and Luke's kind of grateful. He's nervous about the soulmate flash since he has no idea _when_ that's happening and he doesn't really want anyone to be around when it does.

The entire day people keep sending him these _looks_ because they all know he's turning eighteen and the soulmate flash is a big fucking deal and everyone's curious but no one wants to ask.

But the day drags on and nothing happens. He's getting ready for dinner now, staring at his shirts and eventually ending up pulling on his red flannel anyway.

Suddenly it happens. The world turns quiet and he's falling and everything turns black and then he's standing in Ashton and Calum's hotel room. He's insanely confused as to what is happenning but then suddenly Ashton walks out of the shower and he's only in a towel and _fuck_ he looks good.

He wants to speak up but then Ashton suddenly walks right through him towards his suitcase and Luke feels all the color drain from his face because he suddenly realizes what's going on.

He turns around and watches Ashton sort his shirts while his mind is screaming at him and he feels kind of sick because this is it this is it this is it. _This is his soulmate flash._

_Ashton Irwin is his soulmate._

He thinks he actually stops breathing for a moment and suddenly Ashton's dropping the towel to get into his boxer but before the towel as much as hits the floor Luke's back in his own room and he's spread out on the carpet and he's breathing heavily and Michael's leaning over him with a concerned look on his face.

"Was she that ugly?" Michael says, jokingly, but Luke can see the worry in his eyes.

Luke coughs and takes a few deep breaths. "He. It was a he."

Michael raises an eyebrow. "Well, that explains the shock. Normal people don't get this bad after their soulmate flash. Are you sure you're all right?"

 Luke nods and shakingly stands up. "I'm fine." He mutters, looking anywhere but at Michael.

"So? You know them?" Michael asks, and Luke stills, because suddenly something hits him.

Ashton Irwin is his soulmate.

But if he had been Ashton's soulmate, Ashton would know, right? Ashton would've seen a short moment from Luke's life and he would know. But he didn't tell him. And Ashton would tell him something like that, right? Besides, Ashton said he didn't know his soulmate yet, which means.

He's not Ashton's soulmate. Ashton's heart is meant for someone else.

"No, never seen them before in my life." Luke says, faking a smile.

Michael gives him a sympathetic shoulder pat. "Welcome to the club, dude. Anyway, I'm gonna go fix my hair. See you in a sec, yeah?" He says, before disappearing of into the bathroom, leaving Luke all alone.

The minute the door shuts behind Michael, Luke collapses on the bed and buries his head in his pillow. His life has officially gone to shit now.

First, he has a crush on Ashton, than fate comes around and tells him that Ashton's actually his soulmate and the next thing he knows is his hopes and dreams being crushed by the fact that _he's not Ashton's soulmate._

It's a lot to take in and Luke kind of wants to lay on his bed and cry all night but it's his birthday and there's a dinner especially for him so he kind of _has_ to go.

And then Calum's knocking on his door and asking if he's ready so he stands up, straightens out his flannel, wipes his tears and takes a deep breath. Just a few hours, he tells himself as he shuffles towards he door, just as Michael appears from the bathroom.

"Ready!" Michael yells and swings the door open, walking out. Luke takes one last deep breath before following him too.

Immediately all the air gets knocked out of him again. Because he had kind of forgotten Ashton was actually a member of 5 seconds of summer and his friend and would of course be attending this dinner and _fuck_ he looks good. Luke hates the universe a lot, right now.

The four of them head to the restaurant and the entire way there Luke avoids Ashton and tries not to start hyperventilating. He's not sure he's actually going to survive this night.

When they've sat down and ordered their food (Ashton is sitting across from Luke and Luke is desperately trying to avoid looking at him but it's kind of hard since he's _right there_ ) Michael speaks up, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"So, Luke has something to tell us." He says, looking at Luke expectantly.

Luke frowns. "I do?"

Michael sighs. "Seriously, Luke?"

But Luke just keeps looking at him with a confused look so Michael sort of gives up.

"Luke got his soulmate flash."

Calum let's out an excited "Dude!" and Ashton smiles and Michael nods enthusiastically.

"Yeah, it happened like right before we left."

"So?" Calum asks, leaning forward, his head in his hands. "You know her?"

Luke shakes his head. "It's a he." He says.

Ashton's head snaps up and their eyes meet and Luke forgets to breath for a second.

"Really?" Ashton asks, voice coming out in a whisper. There's a weird shine to his eyes.

"Yeah," Luke breaths out. "Don't know him though."

Ashton's face actually _falls,_ but Luke doesn't see it because Calum is slapping his back and welcoming him to the club just like Michael did and when Luke's eyes land on Ashton again he smiles sympathetically at him.

"Sucks, bro. Hopefully you'll meet him soon enough."

"Yeah," Luke breaths out again, slightly lost in Ashton's sparkling eyes. They look a bit sad. He shakes it off as Ashton being sad about not meeting his own soulmate yet.

After that the conversation flows like normal again and Luke remembers to breath when looking at Ashton again and later, when he's laying in bed, he realizes he might actually be able to do this.

He might actually be able to life with the thought he's madly in love with his soulmate, but not actually being his soulmate's soulmate.

 

\--

 

Ok maybe he can't do this.

He can't do this, he can't be in love with Ashton and _know_ he is his soulmate and not doing anything about it, not when Ashton looks like this, all fluffy and tired after a long day of interviews and press things, wearing joggings and one of Luke's shirts and with that soft endearing smile on his face and _Luke can't do this._

So he tries to pull away, tries to distance himself from Ashton, because _it hurts,_ it physically _hurts_ to not be able to be with the person he knows he's meant to be with.

Ashton doesn't notice, he thinks. He's trying not to make it too obvious, just denying cuddles a lot more and maybe not sitting down next to Ashton as much and avoiding him on the tour bus.

Ok, so apparently he's not being all that subtle, if the heartbroken look on Ashton's face is anything to go by when the older boy sits down on the couch next to Luke and Luke immediately stands up to walk back to his bunk.

"Luke, wait." Ashton says as Luke has just reached the door that leads to the bunk beds.

He slowly turns around to face Ashton and raises and eyebrow in question.

"Did I... Fuck, did I do something wrong, Luke? Because you have to tell me if I did, all right? You can't just go and ignore me and don't tell me what's wrong, we're friends, right? You need to _talk_ to me." Ashton pleads and Luke's heart actually _shatters_ at the heartbroken look Ashton sends him.

"No, no, no, you didn’t, I'm just, I'm just being dumb, all right?" Luke says, smiling weakly.

Ashton frowns. "Why? What's wrong? Are you all right?" He sounds worried and Luke wants to cry.

"No, I'm fine, just, the soulmate flash has fucked me up a lot more than it should've." He admits, not daring to look directly at Ashton.

"I know the feeling." Ashton says and when Luke looks up, he's smiling sadly.

Luke wants to scream 'No you don't know the feeling you don't know the feeling because your soulmate is still out there and you can still be with them and I am forever stuck loving someone who will never love me back'. But he doesn't think that's fair towards Ashton. After all, Ashton doesn’t know.

"I'm sorry." He says instead and Ashton nods.

"We ok?"

Luke smiles weakly. "Yeah."

 

\--

 

Luke is getting insanely fed up with his feelings and thoughts about Ashton so he's very glad when Calum invites him to go clubbing with them.

Unfortunately, with 'them', he also means Michael and Ashton.

Luke decides he can be an adult about this. He can be in one room with Ashton and get  drunk and not fuck up goddamnit.

Except he can't.

He's currently nursing his sixth beer and glaring at Ashton grinding up to some brunette. He really tries to look away, because it _hurts_ but his eyes keep getting drawn to Ashton and the way he's grinding his hips.

Luke hates his life.

After awhile of dancing Ashton seems to saunter back over to him again. "Hey Luke, having fun?"

Luke looks around the empty, secluded booth he has been sitting in all night. "You sure seemed to have." He says, and maybe it sounds a bit accusingly.

"Pardon?" Ashton asks, and he looks annoyed. Ok maybe it sounds a lot accusingly.

"Well, I don't know, but I don't think it's really fair to your soulmate that you're here grinding on random girls while she could be god knows where being really sad or something." Luke says. He knows he's not making much sense right now, but he's a bit drunk and very jealous.

"I don't think my soulmate really particularly cares, since they already have another soulmate." Ashton bites back, fire in his eyes.

Luke mouth drops. This is the first time he's ever heard Ashton say so much about his soulmate and this is definitely not what he saw coming. Ashton has a soulmate who isn't his soulmate too. Luke begins to wonder if maybe he's in the middle of some sort of unrequited soulmate chain because this is getting ridiculous.

"How do you know?" Luke asks instead of the million other things he wants to ask.

"They got their soulmate flash a few weeks back. His soulmate was someone else." Ashton says with a shrug and Luke's eyes widen.

"His?" He says. Ashton never mentioned the gender of his soulmate before and Luke is surprised.

"Yes, Luke, my soumate’s male. And he's going to meet his soulmate soon, I just know he is, and I'm going to be left behind, heartbroken and it sucks, all right?" Ashton's still fuming, but his shoulders are sagging and there's a certain sadness in his eyes.

"Same." Luke whispers and Ashton's head snaps up. "My soulmate has another soulmate too."

"You said you didn't know who he was." Ashton says, eyes narrowing.

"I do know, it's just, we're very close and I'm obviously not his soulmate and I don't want to ruin or friendship, but _fuck_ it's hard." Luke looks at Ashton, and suddenly a wave of courage washes over him. He blames it on the alcohol.

"It's you, Ash. You are my soulmate."

Ashton's face lights up for just a split second but then it falls again and suddenly he looks _furious._ "Fuck you, Luke! Fucking, fuck you! I have so had it with you and your playing with my feelings! First you ignore me and then you pull this stunt? How the fuck did you even know? Fuck, Calum told you, didn't he? Jesus, that dumbass couldn't hold a secret to save his life, I should have known this would fucking happen, but I never imagined you would actually pull something like this, abuse my feelings like this, Luke. Fuck you!"

And then Ashton's storming away and Luke is so _so_ confused. That was literally the last reaction he expected to admitting his feelings to his best friend.

The worst part is that he doesn't understand. He doesn't understand why Ashton got so mad and started yelling at him and it's so confusing.

"Hey, man, you all right?" Calum asks, popping up next to him. "I just saw Ashton storming past mumbling something about 'Fucking Luke'. Did something happen?"

Luke stares at him for a few seconds before thinking 'Fuck it' and telling him everything. From the minute he realized he was in love with Ashton till the fight only minutes ago. And to his surprise, when he's done, Calum starts laughing.

"What the fuck." Luke says, staring at his cackling best mate.

"I'm sorry, it's just, you two are so _dumb."_ Calum says with a snicker. "You still don't get it, do you?"

Luke shakes his head in confusion.

"You are his soulmate, Luke. You are the one he saw on his eighteenth birthday. And you are the one he has been in love with ever since. He didn't want you to know because he was scared you weren't his, you know? Like, he actually knows a few unrequited soulmates and he was scared he would be the same, so he didn't say anything and then you go and actually tell he is your soulmate and he doesn’t actually believe you because he thinks you’re joking. Fuck, you two are a mess.” Calum says, shaking his head.

"I'm his soulmate?" Luke squeaks out and Calum nods.

"Fuck." He mutters and suddenly he's up and out of there, to Ashton, to his soulmate, ignoring Calum's shout of "Go get him, tiger!", the only thing on his mind being Ashton, Ashton, Ashton.

He finds him in the hotel room he and Michael are sharing, curled up under the covers and Luke's pretty sure he can hear sobbing sounds. His heart breaks.

"Ash?" He whispers into the room.

"Fuck off."

"Ash, I really think we need to talk." Luke whispers and Ashton's head shoots up.

"Luke."

"Yeah."

"I think I said 'Fuck off'" Ashton says, crossing his arms. His eyes are puffy and red but he also seems pretty determined not to be nice to Luke.

"Yeah and I said we needed to talk." Luke says, striding forward and sitting down on the edge of the bed.

Ashton scrunches up his nose but doesn't seem like he's going to kick him out so Luke continues. "You're my soulmate, Ash. I didn't say that to fuck with your feelings or anything. You are my soulmate and I've been in love with you since before that and when I found out you were it I thought I wasn't yours, because I figured you would've told me, but basically I just talked to Calum and he explained to me why you didn't and now I feel kind of bad I never asked you and I'm sorry. I am so so sorry."

Ashton has uncrossed his arms and is staring at Luke with his mouths slightly agape. "We are such idiots." He concludes. 

Luke laughs. "Understatement of the year."

Ashton smiles. "So, soulmates."

"Soulmates."

"Do you, maybe, like, do certain things that come with being my soulmate?" Ashton asks, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Like what?" Luke asks with raised eyebrows.

And suddenly Ashton lurches forward and they're kissing and wow.

They still have a lot to figure out and a lot to talk about, but right now.

Right now this is enough.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr [here](https://www.skatertotluke.tumblr.com)


End file.
